Not Reserving My Facebook...

It seems I may be one of the few Facebook holdouts remaining judging by the extraordinary numbers of facebook invites I’ve received via email, co-workers, friends, family, and more. The invites come in many forms, including but not limited to official invites through the site, mildly annoyed(?) commentary from people in my life who find it easier to facebook than to email, teasing, pleading, and general puzzlement.

The confusion is understandable. Most who know me probably view me as relatively ensconced in various web-based technology, web communities, blogging, and even some social networking. At times, I was surprised myself that I didn’t jump on the Facebook bandwagon in its early days.

In some respects, I’m a very private person. In others, I’m anything but.

I have absolutely no issue with the concept. I think it’s wonderful that many of my friends and family are keeping in touch, reconnecting with old friends, experiencing the catharsis of posting and sharing, networking, and much more. I wouldn’t for a moment think less of anyone who loves Facebook.

My personal decision not to connect in this fashion will no doubt have its drawbacks. I’m fully aware that this means I may miss out on opportunities to learn the minutia, a few laughs, photos, and certain details of the lives of those I care about.

Though my reasons for not participating are many and varied, here are just a few: (and when I say ‘you’, I am addressing these to myself!)

· If you ever want to hear from everyone you dated or didn’t want to know in high school, you really should get a Facebook account.

· If you relish the idea of your wild friends and acquaintances from your carefree youth mixing with your current friends, your mother, your fiancée, fellow church-goers, your past, present and future employers, and the guy with the shifty eyes who decided to Google-stalk you after over-hearing your name – then by all means a Facebook account is a must have!

· If you want to make sure your stalker ex can still track your every move, Facebook is really for you.

· If you want a new addiction to fill up too many hours of your day and keep you up too late at night, then Facebook is just what the Doctor ordered.

· If you want the gratification of daring to post content that seems a good idea now but which you might later regret knowing that the creators of Facebook can change privacy rules any time they like, then Facebook is a good fit for the thrill-seeker in you.

· If you ever intend to run for office, or support someone who does, surely you want your life to be an open-book?

· If you intend to apply for a new job again in your lifetime, I’m sure it couldn’t hurt to make sure your prospective employer knows loads about you and everyone else you associate with.

· I am still recovering from the trauma of Myspace

· Scientists have apparently proven that 150 friends is the most we can cope with. http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-1245684/5-000-friends-Facebook-Scientists-prove-150-cope-with.html

I realize that it may seem hypocritical that I keep a blog or two and participate in a web-community and do in some ways put my life ‘out there’. It’s just that I find Facebook for my particular and personal circumstances to be just a tad bit too open for my preference.

Just because everyone else is having a party, doesn’t mean that I am in the mood to attend…

Reflections on my mid-west roots and one set of grandparents...I'll always carry a bit of this in me

Welcome dissonance

Today I was keenly aware of the bridge on which I am standing.

It hit me today at work when I took a small lunch respite from the crazy headless-chicken stress of my current occupation. I had been all morning immersed in the usual break-neck pace and endless multitasking that makes up my little cubicle world. I was chatting with a colleague and we were rehashing the rather unpleasant events of the week as we have done for years - when I remembered that all this will cease to matter in a matter of months. This was hardly a revelation, as A and I have been planning and discussing the next phase of our lives together for quite some time. What struck me in this moment was the way in which I am increasingly finding myself straddling two lives… the one I’d built for myself for better or worse with all its stressors, familiar routines, and ordinariness… and the one I am excitedly crafting in my mind, as I anticipate what the new reality will be.

It’s difficult to put into words, this feeling I had today. It occurred to me that there is some dissonance between my two realities. There is an incongruence between my long-familiar but demanding career, friend and familial social life and responsibilities; and the large undertakings and forward momentum of the plans A and I are making which are evidenced by the wedding we are actively planning, the flights we are booking, and the calendars and to-do lists we are keeping.

It became obvious today as I flit almost imperceptibly back and forth between my native present and my life to be, that the divide between the two is only going to increase as I mark each passing month and I wind down my career and life here as I know it. I will outwardly be going on about business as usual while I make other plans… and will be keenly aware of the bridge I am crossing.

There are only two things of which I am certain with respect to my next venture: 1) It will be unrecognizable. 2) This is a good thing...

The tax man cometh...

‘Tis the season… not for holly and ivy… not for champagne toasts at midnight… not even for hearts and flowers (yet). No. It’s a very important time of year, though hardly a celebration. Time to gather the W-2s, dig for bank, year-end mortgage interest, and other income statements, receipts, and a myriad of other paper scraps that justify our status with Uncle Sam and the IRS.

It’s an annual ritual from which there is no escape. We all know the adage about the two things that are certain in life – and one of them is taxes!

Perhaps we can thank William the Conqueror and his Domesday book… but really it must date back as far as mankind can record and recollect.

I’ve been thinking about taxes more than usual this year, as I realize that it’s all about to change dramatically. This time next year, if all goes as planned, I will still be reporting my income; large, small, or non-existent as fortune dictates; faithfully as ever, but from a few thousand miles away.

Of course, I’m sure it’s not as simple as all that. There are reciprocity agreements to navigate, and I have a feeling that for every different corner I turn, there will be a new learning curve.

All said, I’m just as certain that it will be worth it. ;-)

They don't make horses like this in Kansas! Well they do, of course, but they don't wear tartan... ;-)

"Bloom where you are planted"

"Bloom where you are planted". I've often thought of this Mary Engelbreit quote as I contemplate my next chapter in life. Should I be concerned that I'm not doing just that? Instead, I'm marrying my love this year and wildly uprooting my sun-flowery self and transplanting/relocating to begin our new life together in the UK.

I wasn't raised to venture no farther than my own garden plot. Though I'm certain my parents would rather I'd met someone just up the road, I know that they wish me well as I find my own path in life and seek to bloom where I am transplanted.

There is so much to do in the coming months to prepare. I've tackled the difficult task of selling my house. There is still a wedding to finish planning, legalities to navigate, and all the paring down of my career and life here. There are a thousand questions. Several uncertainties. Some fear. Absolutely no regrets.

One can find a quote, an offering, some sage advice to fit most any purpose. To that end, I shall instead embrace Robert Browning's gem... "The best is yet to be".